When Kasey Baiter faced an unexpected pregnancy, she never dreamed that the experience would lead her to one day help women give birth — or encourage them to reconsider abortion.
“I went through a really tough time, but through that pain there was a purpose,” the 26-year-old birth doula based in Saint Louis, Missouri, told Our Sunday Visitor. “I was able to find my purpose and my calling that God has given me through having Jude and choosing life for him.”
Baiter’s story went viral recently when she posted a 20-second video — picked up by national pro-life organization March for Life and pro-life diaper company EveryLife — on Instagram. The video shows her kissing, laughing and playing with her son, 3-year-old Jude, while the accompanying text reads: “For the woman considering abortion … I beg you to reconsider.”
“I know how you feel,” Baiter wrote in the caption dedicated to women who feel like abortion is their only option. “Scared. Backed in a corner. Lost. Overlooked. Stupid.”
She wanted these women to know, first and foremost, that they are not alone.
“I’ve been in the trenches where it seemed like my only option was to get an abortion,” she stressed. “It seemed smart, actually, based on my current situation: single, unemployed, surviving a pandemic.”
While many people advised her to get an abortion, one did not: A friend who had a previous abortion told Baiter that she would regret it for the rest of her life.
“If I could say anything to you, it would be this: don’t let today’s circumstances make you believe it will always be … this way,” Baiter encouraged. “I can assure you that with God, it most certainly will not.”
Following her Instagram post, Baiter spoke with Our Sunday Visitor about choosing life for her son Jude, drawing inspiration from him to become a faith-based birth doula or pregnancy coach, and recognizing God’s accompaniment every step of the way.
Choosing life
Her pregnancy with Jude, Baiter said, came as a big shock.
“But someone spoke something to me in that moment, they said, ‘You’re surprised, but God is not,'” she remembered. “That really stuck with me throughout my entire pregnancy.”
Many of her friends, whom she knew from studying at University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri, told her to seek an abortion.
“Just get an abortion, you can just forget about it, it’s legal, you’re so early in your pregnancy, it would just be like it never happened,” they told her, she said.
Her doctor agreed. All she needed to do was take a pill “kind of like Plan B, but stronger,” the doctor said, and then she wouldn’t have to think about her situation anymore.
But something held Baiter back.
“I just couldn’t shake this feeling of, I just did not feel right in my soul, this did not feel right in my spirit,” she revealed.
Then, her friend who sought an abortion a few years ago approached her.
“She was like, ‘Kasey, absolutely do not do this. I struggle with PTSD every month when I get my period, just thinking about the decision that I made,'” Baiter said. “She was like, ‘We will help you. Please, do not make this decision.'”
This friend’s encouragement, Baiter said, made all the difference.
“It’s easier to see God’s hand in it now,” she commented. “But back then, I did not feel as confident as I do now. It definitely was dark and it was hard and there were a lot of times where I didn’t know what was going to happen, but that really just built my faith.”
And, she added, “It got me — it got us — to where we are today.”
Becoming a doula
Baiter first encountered a birth doula when she was pregnant with Jude. Doulas, she explained, complement an OB-GYN or midwife by serving as a professional, non-clinical coach who provides extra support before, during and after giving birth.
“We’re going to provide mommas with resources and information that she needs to make the best decision for her,” she described. “We’re going to encourage her, advocate for her, and really just be alongside her.”
While giving birth, Baiter said, she used breathing techniques that a doula on Youtube recommended. Her night-shift nurse during labor also happened to have been a doula.
As she struggled adapting to motherhood, Baiter thought a job should exist with the purpose of making sure the mother is okay and has the resources she needs. That job, she realized, is the job of a doula.
Two years after giving birth to Jude, in February 2021, she began the certification process of becoming a doula in January 2023.
“I felt God kind of release me to pursue that passion, that dream that he planted in my heart,” she described.
She shared what she enjoyed most about being a doula: “supporting mamas and helping them thrive.”
“I just love being able to see mamas blossom into the mom that they were designed to be — that God has called them to be — and just being a part of their journey,” she said.
Identifying as a faith-based doula
Despite people advising her otherwise, Baiter, a non-denominational Christian, felt called to identify as a faith-based doula.
“I had a lot of people in the business-world say, don’t market yourself as a Christian,” Baiter revealed. “And I really just felt the Holy Spirit impress on my heart ‘no’ [in response].”
God, she said, blessed her decision immensely.
“That is what I believe sets my doula business apart and what draws moms to me,” she said, adding that her work as a doula has reignited the faith of some of the women who hired her.
“It may seem radical or it may seem just out of the ordinary, but when God puts his hand on it and his favor on it and you’re obedient, it’ll make sense later on,” Baiter added. “That’s just encouragement that I give to other people who feel like they get a crazy idea from God: Just trust him.”
Growing in faith
Baiter’s own faith deepened, she said, during her pregnancy with Jude.
“I feel like my faith was the only thing that got me through,” she said, “and just God’s love, his mercy, his grace.”
“I was not married when I was pregnant with Jude, and I felt a lot of shame and guilt around that,” she added. “I feel like God’s love and his mercy and his grace just really wrapped me up and carried me through when I couldn’t do it for myself.”
In her struggle, she heard God’s voice more clearly than ever before.
“When you’re pregnant, you don’t want to drink, you don’t want to do anything like that,” she said. “So I was just very sober-minded, and that just allowed the space for God to speak to me.”
She, in turn, relied on him.
“I started reading my Bible, I started a daily devotional, I started attending a local church and I really just said, this is it,” she recalled. “Like, I’m all in. I’ve hit rock bottom, I can’t do this on my own.”
“Whenever I finally surrendered,” she said, “is when he showed up.”
Sharing her story
The Holy Spirit, Baiter added, led her to share her story on Instagram.
“I had felt in my heart that the Lord wanted me to share my story and encourage other mamas,” she said.
Since then, she said, many women have reached out to her: women looking for doulas, women expressing gratitude for Jude’s life, and, most of all, women who feel like abortion is their only choice.
Pointing to Jude, she concluded, “I feel like he’s already changing so many lives.”
