I remember my first year of seminary formation. I would regularly fall asleep at our daily Holy Hour. It was because it was at a bad time (at 5-6 p.m., who wouldn’t fall asleep?), so it wasn’t my fault! All joking aside, I think I was falling asleep because I didn’t know yet that it was really Jesus who was present in the Blessed Sacrament. I remember one day, as I was coming to adoration late (because it was at a bad time, not because I was immature at age 19), I turned the corner and froze. As I looked into the chapel through the open doors, and as I saw the golden monstrance on the altar, and the host resting in the monstrance, all I knew at that moment was that I was face to face with God.
I didn’t fall asleep in the chapel that day.
The Eucharist is Jesus, and Jesus is God. He is the savior and leader of the Church that he himself founded. He is the model of Christian life, since Christians are to become another Christ, and he is the model of the priesthood, since he is the great High Priest (cf. Heb 2:17). He is the exemplar for all, and the exemplar for the priest. To be before him in the Blessed Sacrament is to be before the One whom I am to imitate and become. Everyone knows that they are supposed to place before them the people, the ways and the attributes of what they would like to become. So, a priest does.
In prayer before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, I am regularly bathed in his light and presence. I am strengthened by his heart beating for me from the host, either in the tabernacle or in the monstrance on the altar. Even if there is no sense of the divine presence, faith tells me that he is there. From time to time I am aware, without any feeling at all, that there is something like radioactive activity beneath the surface of sense, something like electromagnetic currents of divine grace pulsating from the host into my being. Sorry for the poor analogies, but suffice it to say that there is a powerful and great exchange that takes place, whether it is felt or not.
In the stillness and quiet before him, mysteriously, he brings up everything that he needs to speak about with me (not with audible words but with promptings that arise in my mind and heart), and as I become aware of them, I become drawn to them by grace. He reveals his goodness in being so near to me, his humility in making himself present in such an approachable way, his purity in taking ground wheat up into his appearance, his peaceful resting in the Father, his zeal for souls, and everything else along with it.
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My meditation on the holy Gospels before him brings me into a present participation of his ministry, still at work as he was in Israel, working for the salvation of the world, and of me. I can cry to the heavens in petition for the People of God and for the people of the world who do not know God, but when I am in the chapel, I can cry out directly to the One who is enthroned in the heavens, since he is in the chapel with me.
In the offering of the holy sacrifice, I am drawn into his sacrifice on the cross. I am allowed to participate in his suffering love, given strength to suffer in love and confidence that he is with me in my suffering. It is the supreme privilege of the priest to offer to the Christian people that which Jesus wants to give them — himself — in the holy Eucharist. It can be said that this is why the priest exists. I exist for the holy Eucharist just as I exist for the people, since I bring Jesus in the holy Eucharist to them.
I know that my identity doesn’t come from what I do, but it is shaped by what I do, and I am continually reminded of who I am as a priest by what I do, which is to offer the sacrifice of the Mass. This is what I was told at ordination: “Accept from the holy People of God the gifts to be offered to him. Know what you are doing, imitate the mystery you celebrate, model your life on the mystery of the Lord’s cross.”
Because I know that the Eucharist is Jesus, and Jesus is God, I know exactly where I am to draw people. I am drawing everyone to a living relationship with Jesus, marvelously with us in the Most Blessed Sacrament, introducing them to him and fostering the deepening of their love of God through their love of Jesus in the Eucharistic host.
As a final thought, it is exceedingly liberating and strengthening to know that the power of my ministry is not based on me but on the divine activity of God radiating from the host. He is indeed drawing all to himself (cf. Jn 12:32).
Father Craig Vasek is a priest of the Diocese of Crookston, Minnesota, and was recently appointed by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops to serve as a specialist for the National Eucharistic Revival.
