This article first appeared in Our Sunday Visitor magazine. Subscribe to receive the monthly magazine here.
What are you most insecure about? How many times have you prayed that God would fix that thing or get rid of it? It’s easy to love the things we’re good at; it’s also easy to hate the things we are not good at or don’t find attractive, the things that reveal our weaknesses, failures and sins.
Now, think of Christ rising from the dead, and the body he chose for his resurrected body. He who could do all things and conquered even death chose to rise and be forever in heaven with his wounds on full display. Not only were his wounds painful, they were shameful. He was rejected by his people, abandoned and betrayed by his friends. He was not able to prevent himself from dying (at least he chose to submit to death without opening his mouth, like a lamb). He succumbed to the political power of an unjust political party and government. Yet he chose to be remembered by his weakness, his vulnerability.
Imagine him now with his apostles after his resurrection. He even allowed them to touch his wounds so that they would know it was really him.
Hiding behind our strengths
Most of our lives are lived while concealing our wounds, hating them, hiding them. How many prayers are uttered each day that — without saying it aloud — boil down to “God, I wish I were self-sufficient. Get rid of my dependence on you.” By desiring to be “woundless,” we prevent ourselves from having the very openings by which we can receive the love of God and of our neighbor.
Imagine a 7-year-old playing basketball. He can throw the ball from between his legs up to the hoop and wants his coach to be impressed by it. The coach is a good coach and wants the kid to be good at basketball, which means learning how to dribble. If he focuses only on his “granny shot” because he is good at it, and refuses to learn to dribble because he wants to hide that he is bad at it, he will never learn how to play basketball, nor will he receive the instructive love of his coach.
Healed by his love
In our lives, if we only emphasize what we are good at and refuse to show where we need help or growth or healing, we develop a shaky self-satisfaction, a searching neediness. But the eternal coach loves us too much to leave us like that. So he allows our weaknesses to persist.
Once we consent to his healing, we are no longer ashamed of these things. Instead, they become portals for his strength and glory to shine through, so that others may see him in us — not through our glories, but through our wounds, the windows into his grace. By his wounds, we were healed. By our wounds, we can be loved. In heaven all our wounds will be on display. Now is the time to make them windows of God’s grace in our lives, so that men may see the good works God does in us and glorify our Father in heaven (Mt 5:16).
