As Christians, the Gospel demands that we should love the Lord with our whole heart, mind and soul. I don’t know about you, but that is quite the demand! In my brokenness and woundedness, I know that there is still so much I hold back from God. We are told to not let the perfect become the enemy of the good, but that desire to simply be good enough, prayerful enough, holy enough is a path toward destruction. Instead of aiming toward the perfection God calls us to — “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect” (Mt 5:48) — we tend to choose the broader, more easily trodden path than the narrow one the Lord invites us to sojourn.
I think this is an important context when we think about engaging with nonpracticing or barely practicing members of our family. We can be tempted toward two extremes: either complete rejection of them or temptation toward an overbearing proselytizing. But remember, their struggle is our own struggle, too. They have decided what is good enough for them as well. In humility, manifesting our own growth in perfection — that is, in seeking to love the Lord wholly — is such a beautiful witness.
Honoring the Truth of Christ
Of course, as Christians we have an obligation to remain in the truth of Christ and we can never engage in duplicity. For the Lord tells us, he has come not to bring peace, but the sword (cf. Mt 10:34). To live for Christ means to reject the wiles of this world and its empty promises. At the same time, in our zeal for the Lord we can sometimes lose sight of the reality of Jesus at work in our lives. As Pope Benedict XVI reminded us so beautifully in his encyclical on the love of God, Deus Caritas Est, “Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.” Your nonpracticing family member has yet to truly encounter the person of Christ, and more than any argument, ideology or philosophy that you might espouse, what remains your moral imperative is to manifest Christ to them by your fidelity to the living Word.
Your nonpracticing family member has yet to truly encounter the person of Christ, and more than any argument, ideology or philosophy that you might espouse, what remains your moral imperative is to manifest Christ to them by your fidelity to the living Word.
So, when it comes to engaging with the questions or arguments from your family members about the Faith, the moral teaching of the Church or her dogmatic truths, we must never waver in our faithfulness. At the same time, it remains of paramount importance that one also maintains the perspective that they, like each one of us, are somewhere on their journey with God. For even though they may have abandoned him, he has never let them go and is at all times seeking them out and inviting them into deeper communion. As a Christian, your love of God and witness to what is true, good and beautiful plays a collaborative role in his work and, ultimately, in his plan for their lives.
