By Msgr. Charles Pope
Question: When casually chatting with some of our parish priests, especially when thanking them for something, I sometimes erroneously say, “Thank you, Sir,” instead of the more proper and appropriate “Thank you, Father.” They don’t seem to mind, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s wrong and especially disrespectful. Certainly, it’s not a sin?
— Name withheld, Scottsdale, Arizona
Answer: No, certainly not. To say, “Sir” is a respectful greeting in our culture. Titles such as “Father” or “Monsignor” are more common in Catholic circles when speaking to a priest, but there is no “requirement” to use these other than cultural norms. “Father,” especially, is a sign of affection and is a family term. Hence, to use the term indicates closeness, such as in a family. In some cultures, such as Germany, it is equally common to call the priest “Pfarrer,” meaning “Pastor.”
The key insight to understand is that titles in the parish settings you mention are used more as a sign of respect for the office of priest, not merely as a personal respect. Hence, even if a particular priest does not mind being called “Sir” or by his first name, it remains best and appropriate to respect the office he holds and call him “Father,” “Reverend” or “Pastor.”
