Question: I recently read your response to the lady doing a novena and the appearance of four roses. I have somewhat of a similar situation or dilemma perhaps. Basically, what is the purpose of continued prayer when the Lord doesn’t answer your request? Prior to having a test for bladder cancer, I prayed for a negative outcome. I was very hopeful for a good outcome because I did the following: I prayed, my prayer groups prayed for me, I fasted, I gave alms to the poor, I lit candles. I thought I had all of my spiritual bases covered and lo and behold, the test proved cancerous. So, what is the purpose of praying anymore? What purpose did my good works and intentions produce? What about “ask and you shall receive”?
— Name, location withheld
Answer: It seems God did answer your prayer and the answer was, “No.” Your frustrations are something we all share from time to time. That said, your logic falls into the trap of simplifying and reducing the teaching on confident prayer to one thing, when the teaching balances a number of things. “Ask and you shall receive” is not the only thing taught by Scripture or the Church. Consider some other possible things about why a certain prayer does not yield our desired result. Some of these may apply to your situation, some not. However, we should keep all these sorts of things in mind and remember that prayer is not so much to conform God to our will, but to conform our will to his.
Sometimes no is the best answer. We often think that we know what is best for us. We want to have this job, or we want that person to fall in love with us, we want deliverance from a certain illness or to receive a financial blessing. We see these as good outcomes for us and are sure that God must also see them that way. But in fact, God may not agree with our assessment. In such situations, “no” really is the best answer to our prayers. St. Paul experienced this when God said “no” to him (cf. 2 Cor 12:8-10).
Sometimes we misconstrue love. Many confuse love with kindness. Kindness is a common attribute of love, but it is not the same thing. All parents know that they must sometimes discipline their children, or expose them to trials (like going to the doctor), and that it is the loving thing to do. Parents who are always “kind” and never punish their children spoil them; failing to discipline does not exhibit true love. It is the same with God, whose love is not a mere kindness but is a will to do what it takes to get us to heaven.
Sometimes our request cannot be affirmed without violating another’s freedom. This was covered in the last column. God is omnipotent and could choose to force outcomes, but this would violate human freedom to truly decide. Similarly, there are times when our request cannot be granted because of the harm it might cause to others. We may want a sunny day for our picnic, but the farmers are in desperate need of rain. Whose need is more important? We must leave this up to him.
Sometimes our faith is not strong enough. This was the sad case of Nazareth, where the Lord could not work many miracles because their lack of faith so disturbed him (cf. Mt 13:58).
Sometimes unrepented sin sets up a barrier between us and God. Scripture says: “No, the hand of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. Rather, it is your crimes that separate you from your God, It is your sins that make him hide his face so that he does not hear you” (Is 59:1-2).
Sometimes we have not been generous with the requests and needs of others. Scripture says, “Those who shut their ears to the cry of the poor, will themselves call out and not be answered” (Prov 21:13).
Sometimes God cannot trust us with blessings because we are not conformed to his word or trustworthy with lesser things. Scripture says: “If, therefore, you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth, who will trust you with true wealth? If you are not trustworthy with what belongs to another, who will give you what is yours?” (Lk 16:11-12).
I hope your cancer treatments are going well and that you can experience the greater good that God is drawing from your trials.
