A Catholic approach to etiquette isn’t just about knowing the right fork to use or how to introduce yourself — it’s about instilling virtues that reflect God’s love and bring us closer to the person he calls us to be. In a recent episode of the podcast “Like a Mother with Katie McGrady,” produced in partnership with Our Sunday Visitor, Catholic etiquette instructor Claire Couche of Finding Philothea shared insights on how cultivating good manners can strengthen family life and even help us prepare for heaven.
Here are three pieces of advice Couche offered parents trying to foster a Catholic sense of etiquette in their children.
1. Spend one-on-one time with each family member.
A key to growing in Catholic etiquette is spending one-on-one time with each member of your family. Couche also highlights the importance of looking every family member in the eye, even if it’s for a brief “good morning.” These small but meaningful moments of attention create a sense of being seen and loved, which is at the heart of Catholic etiquette.
“When people experience that (feeling of being seen), especially family members, they’re able to acknowledge, ‘This is a different feeling, I love this and want to impart it,'” Couche said. Such connections deepen relationships and foster a loving, intentional family culture.
2. Acknowledge every person, no matter his or her status.
Couche encourages parents to teach their children to acknowledge and thank every single person, from the people cleaning the street to the cafeteria workers at school. By treating everyone with kindness and respect, we demonstrate the dignity of every person, made in the image of God — a foundational Catholic principle.
Couche pointed to the example of Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen, who thanked everyone in the Bills organization, from the strength trainers to “Slick Rick” in the mailroom, as he accepted his NFL MVP Award on Feb. 6. “His MVP speech, I’m going to be using it in etiquette courses,” she said. “It was beautiful.”
3. Have fun with it.
Teaching etiquette doesn’t have to be a formal or rigid process. “Yes, etiquette is important, but also to find that joy in it, too, especially with children,” Couche says. “Incorporate that fun aspect — where it’s not prim and proper all the time, where it’s not structured, where they’re not getting severely punished for doing the wrong thing.”
For example, involving children in planning dinner and setting the table together — all while keeping things light hearted — can become an opportunity to learn respect and cooperation, as well as the niceties of table manners.
Listen to the full conversation with Catholic etiquette expert Claire Couche here. For a deep dive into navigating the joys and struggles of motherhood, check out the OSV podcast “Like a Mother with Katie McGrady” here.
