This article first appeared in Our Sunday Visitor magazine. Subscribe to receive the monthly magazine here.
When my husband and I teach pre-Cana classes, we continually return to the understanding of marital love as free, total, faithful and fruitful. We are called to love this way because this is the way God loves; indeed, “We love because he first loved us” (1 Jn 4:19).
God desires us. He wants to be with us. And his love is free (given without cost), total (there are no conditions), faithful (he will never leave us) and fruitful (his love begets love). My husband and I sometimes tell our children how happy God is to have us come to Mass or adoration. He is waiting there for us, and he delights in our being with him. This goes, of course, as much for adults as it does for children.
Casting out fear
It is also the kind of love the saints have for God and the Church. They desire union with the Lord. They are convinced of his love and committed to sharing that good news, come what may. St. Thomas More, both as a Catholic and a lawyer, was completely convicted as to the truth he knew in his heart and his mind. In opposing King Henry VIII’s creation of the Church of England, More submitted himself to martyrdom. What the world might see as his defeat, we who have the eyes of faith can see as a powerful act of love.
St. Thomas More embodied a Christlike love. He freely chose to oppose his earthly king in order to serve his heavenly Father. He gave himself over completely and without restriction. His actions represent his loyalty to mother Church. Their repercussions continue to reverberate nearly 500 years later, impelling today’s Catholics to resolve to live in fidelity to a Church that is largely misunderstood by the society that surrounds her.
Ordering our desires
Perhaps most particularly in our day, St. Thomas More remains standing as evidence of both what marital love ought to be and how that echoes the love of God for every one of his children. What do we place at the center of our lives; for what would we give ourselves completely? It’s easy to say we love the Lord, the Church, our families — but our thoughts, words and actions might report otherwise.
When Christ is truly at the center of our lives, when we begin, end and live all the moments in between in a posture of prayer, everything else finds its proper order. God has put unique desires into our hearts, and when our hearts and minds are properly calibrated, we can act on those desires without fear of falling astray. Like St. Thomas More, we can give the fullness of ourselves, knowing that the God who desires us will remain beside us with his most perfect love.
